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After the age of 16, I started thinking that being emotionally supercharged and unbalanced when faced with challenges was not only normal, but also the right thing to do. This wrong understanding made me unsuited for long term co-operation with others, and brought unhappiness to immediate family members. I was in the meantime, unaware of their misery.
This trait probably hastened the termination of my marital status (even if the others involved could not have been completely innocent) and going further, my relationship with most people. I would use strong and heavy words to express my displeasure at situations that were not convenient to my comfort or happiness. You guessed right — I was a negative person to be around. This does not mean that people did not love me. There were many who I loved too and engaged with. However, I was happily unaware of the way I was spreading negative vibes when I did not get what I wanted.
After 2011, things started going wrong further, due to several reasons not entirely connected to my negativity. It came to a peak in 2014 when I started strongly yearning for positive change. My prayers were answered when I started my journey towards the spiritual path. I was directed to my Guru and toward further practices of the spiritual nature. I discovered many interesting things en route, my transformation having started. However, the dirt that had accumulated over the years in the form of anger, impatience and other vibes of the lower nature had to be removed slowly and painfully. A…
